27.3.09

Me + You = Error404

Well nuts to that.

94 percent accuracy out of 700 couples. Can one even argue with that?

Thats better than a shampoo ad's figures. What can top a shampoo ad and be wrong?!

Nothing.

In that case we should all just record conversations on youtube answering certain topics send them off to professionals and let them pair us off. Then upon our arranged marriage, await our yearly permission slip for conjugal mating.

The money saved on lawyers from the zero divorce rates could be spent on the communal padwan farms where the children would all cultivate the same lowest common denominator personalities. Then because they match everyone and everyone is dull, people will have to have it stamped on their head that they are in fact not zombies - because, ye know, necrophelia, accidental or not, just isn't cool. However, because it will be an innocent error to make, it will no longer be processed as illegal. Illogical, like.

We can pair off with the first person we meet and efficiently spend the rest of our shelf life with them. Whomsoever is different will be sent away for crucial reeducation for fear of upsetting the walking non-zombie population with their outrageous hairstyles, heads. Coincidentally, lobotomies will be free for all!

Then, perhaps, we'll graciously be given the 18th chance to vote the correct way on Lisbon.

We are lucky to have Taoiseach Jason "Head'n'Shoulders" McAteer, he is far too patient with us foolish mortals.

Recently in 2020, his shampoo ads get 95 percent accuracy and is anointed "Master of the Flippin' Universe". Death to the irrational Ginola French!

He is the greatest thing to happen since we became 94 percent accurate at matching couples.

2 comments:

  1. But do you not think that the man's only bloody gone and created formula that will tell you the blatantly fucking obvious? Sit between a couple for 15 minutes, listen and think on their interaction, and most likely draw the same conclusions.

    Pit me against the machine...bet I'd get 95% accuracy, extra because machines can't gauge evil looks...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah youre completely right. Just thought was while since had a good rant. And to fit in Jason McAteer somehow. Hes a champion.

    "Will I cut this pizza into 8 slices or 4 for you Jason?"

    "Oh god, only 4. Couldnt eat 8"

    ReplyDelete

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