29.3.09

Anyone Fancy Getting the Boat?

"We’re in this mess, not because Fianna Fáil policies have failed, but because they have succeeded"

Since the groundbreaking opinion poll where Fianna Fail were relegated to 3rd biggest party for the first time ever, there have been many many more scandals about the government. More terrible depressing figures. More manifestations of failed policies. More forecasts of doom.

Little action.

It seemed Fianna Fail were in a flaming out of control rollercoaster of bloated corrupt and ineptitude teetering over the edge of the abyss facing a capitulation in the polls.

However, it seems not even the naked portraits of Brian Cowen could put people off Fianna Fail.

They have staged a bone-chilling recovery in the polls.

I don't like to make broad sweeping generalisations, but everyone, it would appear, is an idiot. 

I'd like to quote Paul Weller and The Jam below to express my dismay, rage. If they get re-elected we deserve this recession to never end. I'll be off to Canada or something. /Rant over.


27.3.09

Me + You = Error404

Well nuts to that.

94 percent accuracy out of 700 couples. Can one even argue with that?

Thats better than a shampoo ad's figures. What can top a shampoo ad and be wrong?!

Nothing.

In that case we should all just record conversations on youtube answering certain topics send them off to professionals and let them pair us off. Then upon our arranged marriage, await our yearly permission slip for conjugal mating.

The money saved on lawyers from the zero divorce rates could be spent on the communal padwan farms where the children would all cultivate the same lowest common denominator personalities. Then because they match everyone and everyone is dull, people will have to have it stamped on their head that they are in fact not zombies - because, ye know, necrophelia, accidental or not, just isn't cool. However, because it will be an innocent error to make, it will no longer be processed as illegal. Illogical, like.

We can pair off with the first person we meet and efficiently spend the rest of our shelf life with them. Whomsoever is different will be sent away for crucial reeducation for fear of upsetting the walking non-zombie population with their outrageous hairstyles, heads. Coincidentally, lobotomies will be free for all!

Then, perhaps, we'll graciously be given the 18th chance to vote the correct way on Lisbon.

We are lucky to have Taoiseach Jason "Head'n'Shoulders" McAteer, he is far too patient with us foolish mortals.

Recently in 2020, his shampoo ads get 95 percent accuracy and is anointed "Master of the Flippin' Universe". Death to the irrational Ginola French!

He is the greatest thing to happen since we became 94 percent accurate at matching couples.

Flight Canceled?

I don't know this for sure. It certainly isn't a fact. And I definitely haven't researched this one bit.

However, while watching the last episode of series 2 of Flight of the Conchords, it definitely seemed like an end to the whole show. Sudden enough too. I wont spoil the plot for anyone, but thats the vibe I got from it.

Granted the first season was better, but thats the norm with any show!

Isn't this usually the sign that a show has been canceled?

Does anyone have any idea whats going on with the future of the show? Concentrating on liveshows perhaps in America with their new mainstream audience?


The Mutts Nutts

Just throwing out a few sites that are good for hilarity when scrawling through youtube seems like too much work. Its not an extensive list and additions to the list would be quite welcome.


(So you can do my work for me, basically ;))


snotr


funnyordie - "GET F'D THE WAY YOU WANT"


Dog Rape! - watch more funny videos

26.3.09

Set Faces To Stunned!

You may have already seen it, but I think it deserves a showing here.
Though I still reckon its a waste...

DiscrimiNation

Charles Darwin would have something interesting to say about this. Funny surnames are apparently not prone to go forth and multiply. Quite the opposite!

With tongue firmly lodged in cheek, Valentine Low tells us "that the number of Cocks has shrunk by 75 per cent" in the past 120 odd years.

Well it would be quite a story if the Cocks had risen!

25.3.09

Is there anybody out there??

I have recently rediscovered a show I used to be very fond of when I was a child. The animation was crude and not much ever happened in it but for some reason I found it fucking hilarious! I am talking about home movies, a dialogue driven cartoon about a group of 8 year old film makers. The thing is I have been unable to find a another single person (apart from my brother) who finds it funny or even remembers it!

Am I alone in my opinion on this show?? Are there any fans of the show out there???? Do any of ye actually give a crap?!?

Anyway I would like to know if anyone shares my love for this particular cartoon, and you can tell me if you think I am an idiot....... I appreciate honesty.

You can find some episodes here

24.3.09

Hooligans On Key

Spotted the excellent Swear I'm Not Paul throwing up the Pete Doherty buying an Oasis album clip earlier. Shpose its only right that as a girlishly obsessed Libertines mad doppleganger I give a quick of the cuff review to his new album.

Shotters Nation was an incoherent, unsure attempt to appeal to the wider audience since signing to major label Parlophone. Stephen Street did the best with what he had to work with. It was a bland and average album in my opinion that was caught between Doherty's desire to be the live artist troubador, the need to please older fans with guitar rock and Stephen Street trying to polish it off and make it marketable. The main source of the music an absolute mess of a human that could self implode, or worse, at any moment. Mr Doherty and Street's relationship has since blossomed.

Cleaner and leaner. New slick myspace. A decent, if saddening, documentary on MTV. A more focused one to one relationship between Street and Doherty has finally produced the coherent slick neo-britpop album that Shotters Nation aspired to be. This has the effect of making it feel like a new departure, phase in the musical career of the Libertine. Almost like the male equivalent of the eclectic Lily Allen pop that has delightfuly emerged.

What would once have been a love it or hate it stripped down drunken live acoustic slur of a song, has become a fine tuned pop song loaded with strings and cool sounds that are completely alien to his past. It sounds like he worked hard at this. Apparently he did. It sounds like he wants to be taken seriously as an artist. Even refers to himself as Peter Doherty now. Touches of the Andrew Coles about it lol

It works.

Easily taken as a standalone album, even an introductory album. Something the label would have demanded given the closeknit, closed minded attitude of the army of Libertines fans to anything divergent. The older tracks in the album to compensate for this.

Thats not saying that its a musical masterpiece. Lead single Last of the English Roses is probably one of the weaker tracks on the album. Its as meh as the video really. It contains a few of the obligatory revamped 10 year old demo tracks. In fact, as far as I can tell only "I Am The Rain", "1939 Returning", "A Little Death Around the Eyes", "Broken Love Song", "Salomé" and "Palace of Bone" are the only tracks that are less than 2ish years old. They obviously spotted this at the printing press when they subbed another old school choon "Lady Dont Fall Backwards" for "I Am the Rain" in the final cut. As far as I can remember there are no wild guitar songs. No electric. All acoustic if I recall. Pianos. Double Bass. Everything is measured. Neat. They are good though. Couldn't be called indierock. Its maturer music for the masses.

The lyrics in general, are general. Imagery of cathartic storms, cups of tea, flowers, stories, football in the council estate and bible stories. Gone are the screaming rants that longterm fans could try and draw paranoid conclusions from. This is not about Kate Moss or Barat et al. New beginnings.

This was probably intended as finally getting out all the old songs, finishing the chapter of post-Libertines to Babyshambles. And doing it to the best of his ability, proving there is still a musician in there beneath the tabloid reporting. Clearing the road for future musical expeditions to be taken seriously. Clearing the road for future work. His desk has been cleared of clutter. Attempt to rebuild the musical platform from which he can regain credibility. Difficult to say what form the next musical foray will take. Maybe Carl Barat to release a very similar album. Maybe a Babyshambles EP in the mould of this. Then probably the most eagerly anticipated reunion of recent times at the same time The Strokes get their act together.

Its a good album. You don't need to be part of the clique to listen to it or enjoy it. Stephen Street should have his name as an accredited artist on the cover. Its a nice, quaint indie folk britpop masculine-Lily Allen-type album. If that sounds like your bag, go fer it. I'll recommend it.

3.5/5

Oh and Graham Coxon helps out too.

Phantom of the Blogorrah

The Phantom strikes again!

Related enough to the post I just finished as he began talking. Spookifying.

Next thing talkied about was a valiant David fellow establishing the Job Seekers Union. I think its well worth a plug here.

http://www.joblessandproud.com/


(Also, quick massive props to the guru Mulley and his Mulley blog for a generous mention for this fledgling blog in his mega fluffy links.)

Tooseday

Threw Phantom on today earlier. It seems that the sales of tinned food and beans in particular is rising. Started quite the debate.

Its looking a lot to me that the recession isn't really bringing me down personally just yet, I'm always fairly skint anyway, more that everyone is being lowered down to my horrendous miserly level of beans and toast eating studentry! Even discovered that by cutting my own hair I can acquire myself an extra 3 pints in a week. Well, the rare week that I'd actually get a haircut lol

Money saved, skill gained. Its making me a better person.

...

Seriously though. Shoot the government. In the face.

Anyone found ways of cheating the system, fighting the man and adapting to new circumstance?

(Infact, if anyone has any nixers going I am very much unemployed lol)

23.3.09

Zero@nihilist.not


Great little ditty here.

Ever want to quickly register for something, anything but don't think its worth the spam or giving your good email address? These heroes of the internet, possibly of piratebay fame, have given us SLOPSBOX.

Not only is it a great name. Its a great service.

Tomorrow Never Comes


Remind me to further investigate the idea of a lewd word in fancy joined writing as a tattoo.

Simply "Fuck" or "Boobs" etc.

Ideas welcome

Hobo No Mo

Yet ANOTHER footie post, sincerest apologies ;)

Belated congratulations to Shamrock Rovers finally kicking off in Tallaght with their new stadium. Fairytale ending for a painful 22 years of renting stadium after stadium with local rivals. Good victory over Sligo for a housewarming.

(Nuts, sorry for the tiny pic. Pretty anticlimactic lol Click on it for biggerness)



22.3.09

This is Pint of Unspecific

Apologies, but another footie post now.

Fergie, feeling flustered, tried to stoke the flames with talk about how Liverpool's squad cost more and that Rafa has spent more than Man Utd?

Well not only is that absolutely impossible due to Liverpool's crap spending power and incompetent Chief Executive, small stadium and terrible owners. Its also complete bull. Quelle surprise.

Paul Tomkins, one of the best footie journos out there has this to say. 

(Well actually hes repeating it because he spelt it all out after the Robbie Keane saga ended.)

21.3.09

He Shoots, He Scores!

Xerez President Resigns After Shooting At Brothel

http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/1614/americans-abroad/2009/03/19/1164330/report-xerez-president-resigns-after-shootout-at-brothel


Why dont we get stuff like that in England?? Isn't that the point of the Premiership? Male equivalent of soaps? lol

I'm moving to Spain.

20.3.09

Erotic and Dystopic, Nick Cave Does it Again

Almost like a capstone on the long since foregone conclusion that Nick Cave is the greatest lyricist of his generation and probably one of the best of all time.

The Bad Seeds
latest album features quite a few gems. Solid rock by numbers, with an air of freshness and selfworth that usually a bands atleast 14th (depending if you count Grinderman etc) album has given up striving for, about 5 or 6 albums hence. Westlife take note.

The final track, simply tacked on at the end; More News From Nowhere is subtle earth shattering stuff. Overtly obvious his own Desolation Row, its just 8 minutes of casual, smooth-paced poetry sang over an equally cool almost lounge music rock. Call backs to his Birthday Party days in the no wave guitar drone ominously stringing along in the background screaming in the quiet, mirroring the surreal and madness of the words. Gasping almost in shock you can imagine its this life in the guitar that sings the line "-let me out of here!- I cried", as to how he can be so aloof about what he is singing about. Insane necro drugged orgy cannibal cookery party just to note a few events in this debauchery fest. Works well with the rhythm guitar too, simple couple of fifths, cooly indulging in sliding up and down the fretboard here and there, as if seeping through the laid back, lusty ethos of the place. Each stroke a... stroke.

The contrast and hinted schizophrenia works a treat and adds extra layers of madness and texture to what could have just been construed as an excuse to read out some poetry on a rock album.

The video furthers this theme of strangeness, being out of place. For apparently only the second video ever, he is seen performing in a tshirt. Everyone else is a sleezey businessman in suits at a dank seedy lounge/stripclub. Nobody makes any quick jerking movements, not even Peaches Geldof manning the pole. Everything is smooth slow laidback and cool. Sedated by sin, gluttony. Surreal tacit tolerance of the unadulterated sinning all around. In fact Cave is the quickest mover (not saying much though). Ironic seen as though he's probably done more drugs than everyone else in the room!

Indeed, the album was released last year and this post is random for its timing and content. But... its just a fucking great song. Drink. It. In.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MajmI5j7Bs

16.3.09

Robot Rock!






















Female humanoid robots. Every sci-fi fans fantasy. Who would have thought this would become a reality. Check it out for yourself.

As if that wasnt enough, this really gives me the heeby jeebies!

9.3.09

From My Cold Dead Hands!

I awoke today as any other afternoon; late, unawares and beardish.

Rent and ESB late. Manageable.

College and Tribune assignments due in next few days. Under control.

It was something else that has rattled my bones.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7928996.stm

"The chimp stashed hundreds of stones in anticipation of throwing them".

Of course one could simply put that down to that percentage of jerks every society has in its midst. Surely the animal kingdom is not immune to such a ratio, sentient beings as they are.

So I read on. "Most Popular Stories Now".

What's this?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7932870.stm

"Hero in Underpants Tackles a 'Roo"

Usually, I'd notch that up as a delightful romp of a read. Some lad in his jocks tackles a kangaroo. Quality.

On the same day though, that we discover a chimp has a stash of hate rocks to throw at unsuspecting people and their soft non-rock-proof skulls??

The beginning of the end?? Surely!

I'll be blogging from the fallout shelter from here on in.



3.3.09

If You Ever Get There....



Sean Puffy-P-Diddy-Daddy Combs is a very dedicated twit. Props to Rick O'Shea brought this to Pint of Unspecific's attention.

Here is the tweets from over the weekend from Mr Daddy. Fucking hilarious shtuff

http://twitter.com/iamdiddy


# I gotta stop. I'm tired and sore!!!! Ill try again tomorrow Go back to work people4:54 PM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# For all those just tuning in. I'm 6 and half hrs in on a 36 hour tantric sex session. Welcome1:59 PM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# 6 hrs down 30 more hrs to go. Some cramping in rt leg but ill be ok!!!!! Can't stop. Won't stop. Lol1:45 PM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# Ohh yea. God bless everyone!!!!! This is gonna be the best day of your life!!!!10:49 AM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# 3 hrs down 33 more to go. Let's go people!! Do u believe????10:48 AM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# 1 hour down 35 more to go. Focus sean focus!!!7:51 AM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

# Having tantric sex!!!! I feel so much better.!!! Thank you6:29 AM Feb 27th from TwitterBerry

Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else

The Modern Cardigan Men
Pakistan Cricket Attack
Bombay Bomb
Associate Topper
Vodkalippo

5 great wordlets (sentencelets?) for the day. Actually, they're all derived from last night and todays events. Both ice pop booze breakfast mincing and hangover telly crap.

Also potential bandnames that just need some bands. On the topic, bandnaming is the best and yet most retarded hobby of all time. I advise both to do and not to do it. Am I ambivalent?

Well... yes.

...and no.

On Her Majesty's Secret... GAA Team??


Stupidest idea ever? Possibly, probably not. Complete wank-balls out of this world proportions of ridiculosity? Abso-fucking-lutely.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/0302/1224242084065.html


Glasgow Rangers promoting GAA? Hell hasn't quite frozen over. The biggots haven't dismantled their incestuous lodges. What the fuck is going on? Recessions do strange things to people alright. What kind of sick inbred tradition could this be spawning?

Ballyhale Churchills??
Dr Darwins??
Victorias??
(any more suggestions for brit clubnames?)

On the otherhand, a Champions League style gaelic competition would probably shit all over every other type of sport or entertainment in the world... ever. Make it so!

No! The North Shall Never Rear-End-Her!



Or, well actually, it will.

And videotape it.

Freaky like that.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7920221.stm